My soul shivers a little and shudders awake in the middle of the night...
I am hot but it feels cold, lonely, lost, betrayed and unwanted inside me.
It searches for you, trying to remember how my name felt on your lips...
And remembers you saying, "I don't want this love"... And you repeated it.
One lonely tear trickles down the cheek, my soul screams in pain, "I am dry".
I promise to stop but I can't. It reminds me, "I don't want to cry for you"...
Did you say that too? Yes you did. And yes I hurt you. I was in pain too...
I took you for granted, I thought you know me and you will understand.
I said all the rights things, but in the wrong way... I am sorry I said for saying it.
You said all the wrong things, but in the right way... You are sorry you said for loving me.
It is still dark, my soul groans in pain... This time the wounds are deep and unexpected.
I am not your mother or your family, you reminded me. But you were mine.
My child cried for you but you went after another. A part of it died and buried within the soul.
I don't know that person. You said you are strong and you are sure but I needed you.
It will end anyways so why not today?
Not today.... I am not ready for it.
Not today.... I am still planning.
Not today.... I thought we had some dreams.
Not today.... I am begging for forgiveness.
Not today.... I need you.
Not today.... I was born on this day.
Not today.... I died on the same day.
This is what I will remember for the rest of my life.... On my birthday, crying for you to be kind!!!
And not finding it...